Being Glad to be You

Waking up alone after a breakup is no fun. Sometimes it takes you a few minutes to figure out where you are.
"...but whether you are the abandoner or the abandonee, about 50 percent of people wake up in a strange place after a breakup, and it’s not always because they drank too much the night before and went home with the bartender." http://amzn.to/106FCdM

Some sympathetic advice can help you on your way and make you realize that others are suffering like you. Sometimes you need to take your mind off your problems and then you will feel lighter. Brighter. And there's nothing that cheers you up more than finding out others are worse off than you! Look at the tales in Breakup Cocktail - they will make you smile and they will make you relieved that you are you!

Click here to smile at the book

Excerpt from Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© 

2012 Barbara Kingsley Singer. All rights reserved. See the book http://amzn.to/106FCdM

Thinking About Someone Else - Mentally Cheating or Not?

Can you cheat, but only in your head? Is a fantasy about someone other than your spouse mentally cheating? Compare it to committing a crime that you never get caught for—is it still a crime if you are not found out, or if no one ultimately gets hurt? It’s like the age-old question, if a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound if no one is there to hear it? If not, can it cause damage? Yes it can if it falls onto your car!
Excerpt from Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© “The Tale of Debbie”
2012 Barbara Kingsley Singer. All rights reserved. Click here to whet your appetite!

You are faithful in your relationship. You never as much kissed another person, but you are thinking about someone else way too much; and maybe at times when you shouldn’t be! Does this make you unfaithful? How do you know if you’ve crossed the line?

Answer this question –
I think about the other person:
(a) Only when I see them
(b) When they slip into my mind from time to time
(c) During intimate moments with my partner
(d) Very often

So you’ve got the visual stimulation in (a), you think about them only when you see them. That’s not bad, in fact it’s very normal, unless you flirt with them - but then you are moving away from mentally cheating into a more physical field.
How about (b)? Still not a terrible thing, unless you combine it with (c). With (c) you are stepping into the realm of mentally cheating - if such a thing does exist. It doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing and I’m not here to judge, but it’s certainly not being altogether faithful. But who’s trying to be perfect anyway? Whether that matters to you or not is up to you and no one else and don't let anyone tell you any different. Often our thoughts run away with us and if your answer was (d) you might want to take those running thoughts and see who they lead you to...

In "Debbie’s Tale" in Breakup Cocktail, Debbie finds evidence that makes her sure that her partner is mentally cheating on her. What could she possibly have found that made her realize that, and what does her partner say to defend himself?
Why settle for just a sip of Breakup Cocktail? Why not have the whole book and treat yourself to a funny read with a little bit of education? Click here to see more ~ CLICK!

Breakup Cocktail Presents "QUOTES" on Love and Relationships

2 Quotes about Looking for Love

1.  Every woman needs a man who will ruin their lipstick and not their mascara.

 2.  Everybody deserves somebody who makes them look forward to tomorrow.

 7 Quotes About Being in Love

1. Love is a fire. Whether it’s going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
2. You know that tingly feeling you get when you like somebody? That’s common sense leaving your body.
3. Love is giving someone power to destroy you but trusting them not to.
4.  Love someone not because he gives you what you need, but because he gives you things you thought you never needed.
5.  Love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
6.  You can love two people at the same time, but never at the same level.
7.  The spaces between your fingers were created so that someone could fill them.

5 Relationship Quotes

1. Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
2. Love is caring for each other even when you’re angry.
3. I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
4. Because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
5. I want to be your favorite hallo and your hardest goodbye.

Coming soon, quotes on breakup, inspiration and counting your blessings. It's a mellow side of the Breakup Cocktail blog...!
Check out the Breakup Cocktail book on Amazon ~  Click Here

Are Nightmares Better Than Pleasant Dreams?

Are dreams more real when you are vulnerable? Right after a breakup we worry about everything. Our brain tries to calm us down and organize our thoughts

...but these fears come out in dreams.

They mix themselves up with something ordinary that has happened to us perhaps that same day,
or
something obscure
we have seen
on TV, like a
frothy dress.

Our thoughts are all over the place doing a two-step with our emotions causing a strange story to emerge that we call a dream.

Or
 a
 nightmare.

 Our dreams don’t make too much sense but they are a way of calming our emotions and organizing and cleansing our confused minds. After a separation, every day is a healing day and we often don’t recognize that our body and brain are doing everything they can to help us recover. We go to bed thinking about the one we loved and lost and we have wonderful dreams about them. We dream that we are still together and slowly, as we open our eyes we remember hard, cold reality – we broke up and we miss them.

Is it worth having just a taste of something we can’t have? Is it better to wake up after spending a few minutes of a dream with the one you love, only to lose them again once the dream fades away, or is it better just to have a scary dream?

Here’s what I think – I’d rather have a dream where I am chased by an axe murderer with three eyes and a drooling smile than to dream that I was walking hand in hand with my ex, only to lose them again when reality kicks in.

...So tell that axe murderer I’ll meet him tonight in my dreams.

7 Deadly Sins for Breakups: A Sin & Story List

Tracy substituted food for love when Shawn left her on that midnight train to Quebec. Depression had her by the throat but that didn’t stop her from overeating.
But Tracy was a creative girl…
GLUTTONY – One of the Seven Deadly Sins




Sin is not only for the non-religious, it’s for everyone! You may have some sin in your soul and not even know it!

Last week I wrote about The Seven Deadly Sins and now I am going to show you how one small, bad thing can find itself masquerading as a sin on that famous list. Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge has tales of all of the sins, plus some that didn’t even make the list.

Here is a “Sin and a Story” list, which is a little like “Dinner and a Movie,” and just as satisfying as an appetizer for the Breakup Cocktail.

Let’s start with the most obvious-


LUST
This is the only real scandalous sin. After lust, it’s all downhill.

Marc became obsessed with a foxy lady who rode the early morning bus along with him every workday. He lusted after her and couldn’t drive her out of his mind. How did Marc deal with his lustful obsession? Well, as we all know, the stepping stone from lust to cheating is opportunity.
Did opportunity poke Marc in the ribs and offer itself? Or did Foxy? Or was Marc able to control his passions? I’m not telling. You’ll have to read Marc’s tale, along with other tales that contain more than seven sins, in Breakup Cocktail.

ENVY
Are you miserable and wretched after your breakup and are you jealous of the happy people all around you? Would making them miserable render you happy? It might. Read one of the several tales about jealousy and you will find some inspiration, or even payback.

GREED
What makes some people feel better after a breakup? Catching up on lost time. Some people think that they are owed one-night stands after being in a relationship for too long, and they go out and hunt for a good time.

Read the tale of our hero Jack, who gets a little out of control by jumping on the casual sex bandwagon.

ANGER
You and your ex broke up and now you are angry at everyone. When Faith’s bank called her at work, the rage simmered up and spilled all over her desk and she didn’t care who saw it. What can you do to quell the rage that just won’t calm down? Faith’s tale has an energetic but calming ending.

PRIDE
After a breakup, we want to make our ex as miserable as possible by looking our best. We are telling the world “Look how good I look without him! He doesn’t deserve someone like me.” Now and again this scheme can misfire like it did for Zoe, when she unexpectedly met Liam at the local car wash. But she was already holding a grudge the size of a large rock.

SLOTH

Janet was not usually a lazy person, but she didn’t want to leave her house after her breakup. It was too easy to sit on the couch, eat fast food and not bother to shower. Sadness had made her lazy and she began to thrive on it. Sometimes it takes a shock to make you realize that it’s time to face the outside world again.

So if you like short tales, a shot of advice and a bucket of sin with your breakup, don’t hesitate to click here to dig into a basket of Breakup Cocktail sin, with 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge on the side.
Available on Amazon.com Click here to see...

The Seven Deadly Sins

After a breakup, we may unconsciously dabble in each of the Seven Deadly Sins. Don’t be shocked, it’s not as bad as it sounds! TV, movies, art and books very often contain several of these sins and the ones that don’t, are just not that interesting. Count up the many sins in a TV drama and you might find that it’s the number one show on television.

So, is it because the sins are all around us in the media that we are encouraged to follow suit and to sin ourselves, or did the TV writers see us sinning and say, “Hey, that’s good idea for a TV drama?” Or can we just blame the press, who use our stories to write their scandalous articles that we just can’t get enough of?

 I woke up this morning thinking about my book Breakup Cocktail, and realized that sin is the basis of every good story and forms an integral foundation within it, like the yeast in bread or alcohol in a cocktail. Our sins become the pink in our cheeks and the secret smile on our faces that make others wonder what we have been up to.

We are all guilty of indulging in those sins, pick a sin or two or even all of them, and we’ve done them. Sinning, apparently, doesn’t always make us feel bad and that’s probably because we don’t let it get out of control. If we indulge in our sins infrequently or in smaller doses, that’s acceptable. Even if we binge, these days everything is forgivable unless we hurt someone along the way or do something too bad too often.

So, back to the Seven Deadly Sins. You may have heard of them, but you probably don’t know too much about them unless you have studied religion. Who can name them all? I got as far as 3 out of 7, but here they all are:

Lust
Lust originally meant wanting very badly to have sex with someone and becoming a little obsessed with it in the process, but over time, its meaning expanded and now the definition incorporates an intense desire for anything, as in, “She lusted after the promotion.”

Gluttony
A glutton is a person who eats or drinks too much. A “glutton for punishment,” is someone who takes on a difficult or thankless job, but I think that phrase is a one of kind, as gluttony doesn’t seem to be linked with any other common phrases.

Wrath
“The wrath of God” is a pretty familiar sentence. Wrath means anger and is an old-fashioned word. These days, we don’t have time for extra words so we just use the ones that we already know. With fury, rage, madden, rile, annoy, etc., we don’t need wrath anymore. But apparently it was a sin back then when the list of sins was written.



Pride
These days, having pride is considered a good characteristic. You are proud of yourself, your work, your family and that’s commendable. So how can pride be a sin? In this context it means being vain. It means that you think that you are better than everyone else.

 Envy
Jealousy. Wanting something someone else has, AND, not wanting anyone else to have it.

Greed (Avarice)
We all know what greed means. Everyone’s mother has scolded them for being greedy, but often it is associated with food. Or stealing another child’s toys. But it’s a word we all grew up with. What, your mother never called you greedy? Well aren’t you the perfect one!
Greed is wanting to have masses of possessions, like a lot of money or a horde of Twitter followers. What is the collective name for a lot of Twitter followers? A flock? A gaggle?

Sloth
Laziness, pure and simple. This last sin was added later and replaced Sadness, one of the original sins, but I suppose someone important must have felt sympathetic towards someone sad, so they decided to eliminate it, and decree it sin-free. How considerate...

So, there are The Seven Deadly Sins. They were modernized in the 4th century and originated from religious beliefs, back in the day when morals were important...

...but I think that every one of them rears its head during and after a breakup.

Next time I will tell you how, during your breakup, you might experience all of those Seven Deadly Sins – one for each day of the week.

By the way, I think that they have missed a deadly sin – how about lying? What’s more treacherous than that...?

For funny breakup reads, sample Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© a book by Barbara Kingsley Singer
Click here to take a sip on amazon.com

Top 12 List of Who Women Judge

Women judge people. It’s a trait females are born with – they just can’t help it because the judging gene is found in every female brain, right next to the “I love handbags” cerebral cortex area.

But what and who do women judge?

12. Men. But only if they have time after judging anyone female.
11. Their female friends. Yes, there is some loyalty in being a friend, but sometimes not very much.
10. Anyone who is happy when they are not.
9. Other people’s homes: décor, cleanliness, size “It’s a cute home,” means it’s small, dirty, and cheaply decorated; and you should find yourself a rich a man to move you in to a better one.
8. Celebrities. “Yes, but looking gorgeous isn’t everything. Anyway, that color looks horrendous on her.”
7. Other women – strangers. This is considered a sport, like watching tennis or football.
6. The way anyone dresses. “You should see how she dresses that little Chihuahua. Like a little ho dog.”
5. Anyone else’s views or opinions. “What does he think he’s talking about? He’s much too short to have any kind of an opinion.”
4. Other women’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities. “I wish she would stop trying to cover up that big fat wart on her nose with too much makeup. It makes those piggy eyes of hers look even smaller.”
3. The way other women see themselves. “She thinks she’s so much better than anyone else, just because she has new shoes.”
2. How they think other people perceive them. “Did you see the way that tall girl looked down her nose at me? Who does she think she is?”

And lastly and most importantly –

1. Themselves.

So if we are hardest on ourselves, does that exonerate us from feeling guilty about judging others? Of course it does! So judge all you want because the guilt we feel from judging ourselves cancels out any bad things we think and say about others.

One of the Breakup Cocktail’s tales, called Why does my ex hate me? Is that our friendship flying out the window…? tells the tale of Zoe whose ex broke up with her. Her original plan was to make herself look perfect then accidently meet up with him so that he would see what he was missing and beg her take him back. But plans of revenge and reuniting don’t always work out the way that they are planned. When Zoe finds out that he did something unthinkable to her, intimidation is on the cards and in this accidental meeting, both parties are unprepared for what ultimately happens.

Read the entire story of Zoe, along with 59 other tales in Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge, available at Amazon.com. Click here to see