or, Can't Sleep ~ Won't Sleep?
Insomnia?
The Top Ten Things People Try When They Can’t Sleep
10. Watching something on television
There’s always something good on late night television. Game of Thrones? You heard that it’s a good show, so you watch it. An hour later you drift off to sleep and dream of dragons tearing men apart and battles with so much blood red it looks like Christmas sweater day at the office. You wake up in a cold sweat, shivering and terrified. You snap on the light and cower naked in the corner of the room crying “Ma-ma.” It was a good show - but you'll never sleep again...
9. Reading an exciting book.
You love this book. You couldn’t put it down when you were reading it this afternoon. Just a couple of pages before bed. Just a dozen more. Just another chapter. Just until Neil gets lucky. And suddenly it’s 4 a.m. and you’re wondering if Bella really loves Nick, and if Tony killed that dirty cop for Jenna’s sake. The hours are flying by and you’re still awake.
8. Listening to music
You are finally dropping off to sleep while listening to nice relaxing music from your music library, when suddenly a different album hits. It was your favorite song when you were 14 that you used to roller skate to with Danny Plotnik, whom you were madly in love with. You spring out of bed and start dancing around the room to the music. And now the neighbors are banging on your walls and threatening to call the police.
7. Watching You Tube on your phone
What will it be? Cute kittens on a slide or a monkey in a snowsuit? Ah, here’s a list of bloopers—I’ll just watch a couple then I’ll go to sleep. Too funny! Oooh, pranks! I love pranks! What’s this? Rednecks and duct tape? Breakup Cocktail Calypso? Bring it on. And the next day you are Tweeting about the 101 most original ways to melt snow and putting a hamster video on Facebook. Not to mention calling in sick.
6. Reading a boring book
You try to read a page of this terminally boring book that you have renewed from the library eight times—or maybe it’s a free Kindle book that you downloaded to improve your mind, but you’ve read page eleven five times and you still don’t know what the heck’s going on and what does ubiquitous mean anyway? After a while your brain aches and you have to get a snack.
5. Going online and having a quick look at your email
How nice and relaxing to read emails from friends. Huh? WHAT did Sophie say about my hair? I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. And while I’m at it, I’ll let Isabel know that John is secretly taking Jackie to the movies.
Wait a minute! He did what?
With who? No!
Who told you that? Really?
You must be kidding...!
Well listen to this...
4. Meditating
I will visualize a sunny Caribbean beach and picture myself in a hammock, with a cocktail in my hand as I count down in a relaxing manner from 500 down to 1. Here I go - 499, 498, 465, 464 – wait a minute—what happened to 487 and the rest of the nineties? Ah, the nineties. There was some good music in the 90’s and...ok, from 100 then, 99, 98, 97 so how old is Harrison Ford anyway...? I keep getting distracted, ten, nine...wasn’t there a movie called Nine? Or was that Seven?
3. Deep breathing
I count to ten as I breathe in and count to ten as I breathe out. That’s so relaxing—guaranteed to make me sleep. No, ten is too many, make it seven.
That’s perfect, 7 seconds in and 7 seconds out. But I need more time to breathe out, so let’s make it 7 seconds in and 9 seconds out.
Now I can’t pace myself—I’m choking! I need a glass of water! SO now I’m even less relaxed...
2. Alternate tensing and relaxing
Have you tried the tensing and relaxing technique? You tense your toes and then relax them. Moving up the body, you tense your legs and then relax them. Tense the thighs and then relax them. Tense the arms, and—aargh!
You’ve got cramp in your foot! Now you have to jump out of bed and dance around and there go the neighbors, banging on the floor this time! Leave me alone, I’m in pain!
1. Reading a very short and funny story - about 3-4 pages long
Smile. Take your mind off the world around you and lose yourself in someone else's world for a few pages. Try Breakup Cocktail; it's full of amusing and non-threatening tales, and is available on Amazon.com
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Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge©
Feeling sad and in need of a good cry?
