Moving into Someone Else’s World

“People who are drawn into spending 90 percent of their time in their partner’s world and only 10 percent in their own, sometimes begin to resemble their better halves, but luckily not in the same way that some dog owners begin to look like their dogs. 

 Sadly, people who live too close to someone else can easily become an opposite-sex version of their significant other, and it has nothing to do with either steroids or hormones.”

Quotes from Breakup Cocktail (Sally’s tale) “Time Travel: Going Back 10 Years to Find Where I Left Myself.”

When you are in a relationship you visit each other’s worlds—you meet his friends and family and he meets yours. You step into each other’s worlds for while, and then you go back to your own. But sometimes you try it on and it seems a better fit than yours; everyone is nice to you (perhaps for a change) so after you step inside, you don’t want to come out again and face your empty apartment, annoying parents or demanding friends again. 

Life with Mr. New is addictive and exciting and maybe, like Sally, you move away with him and leave everything familiar behind.

Here’s another snippet from Sally’s tale: “To Sally, everything had become easier because most of the decisions in her life were now being made by Nick and she willingly went along with them. All she had to do was get up in the morning and follow orders. It was similar to being in the armed forces, but without the marching and the ugly camouflage clothing.” Being with someone can make your life easier, more pleasant, different and exciting and as long as the relationship moves forward and things go well, you feel that you have made a good decision.

“Nick’s family and friends lived a few miles away from their log cabin, and Sally became very attached to his family, his friends, and those friends’ girlfriends and children. The move into Nick’s world was like walking over black ice that was hidden by a soft snowfall, and she fell right into it.”

But what happens if that new world suddenly closes its gates to you? Sally wasn’t expecting to be shut out of Nick’s world – but one day, the unthinkable did happen.

To read Sally’s story and 60 others, go to Amazon.com for the Kindle or paperback version of Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge. Click here to see

“Do I want to get my boyfriend/girlfriend back?”

Getting Back Together After the Breakup
“It works for movie stars—marry, divorce, and then marry that same person again. Everyone’s heard of someone this applies to. Why shouldn’t it work for you?” Quote from Breakup Cocktail, a story entitled “Reunited, Giving It Another Try: and on the seventh day they rested - the Tale of Jasmine and Jerome.”

“How do I get my boyfriend/girlfriend back?” Who hasn’t spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure this one out? We talk to our friends, we lament, we cry, we pray and we hope—and we look for the perfect way to achieve this. But is this really what’s best for us?
I had a boyfriend I went back with after we broke up. We had been apart for a few weeks and I still loved him very much. It’s not that we didn’t get along; things had become too routine and we were getting bored with each other, and gradually became more interested in other people. So we broke up.
When we reunited it was so perfect—we still loved each other. It was like the initial week that we first met, except we already knew what the other one liked and what got on each other’s nerves. This utopia lasted around two weeks, and at the end of that time we were more bored with each other than we ever had been.

The relationship has worn itself out. Looking a little ashamed, we agreed with a smile and a final fling in the bed, that it would be over as soon as we got dressed again. I still think fondly of him from time to time, even though it was years ago.

Of course people break up for a multitude of reasons, but if one person has done something unforgivable to the other one, if you get back together again, it will never be the same as it was before. There will always be mistrust or some resentment that won’t go away. Or if your relationship, like mine, has become stale and boring, it’s unlikely that it will change.
Sometimes people in a relationship make a mistake and jump into bed with Angus from the dry cleaners or Sadie at the library, and after a fling they realize that they want their true love back, because sex is sex and love is—well, love. And yes, the relationship may be able to carry on like before when trust can be rebuilt and forgiveness handed out.

But don’t confuse a break with a breakup. If, after a while, they don’t return your phone calls, or if they put off meeting you, they are stalling because they don’t want to see you. Sometimes people use delay tactics because it’s too difficult for them to make a clean break and hurt your feelings. Or on the other hand they may be unkind to you when you call and you can’t figure out why. It’s like a slow rip of the Band Aid. But don’t accept this treatment. Make a clean break. Say goodbye. Prolonging the agony is exactly that—extended heartache.
I have covered topics like these in the Breakup Cocktail book, where I tell stories of my own breakups and recovery and find some humor in them. I know you will too. Here is the link to the Kindle and the paperback books on Amazon.com click here

Free Kindle days will be October 16, 2013 and October 17, 2013.