Closing Your Eyes to an Empty Bed

Sleep is something that cannot be taken, it can only be given. That’s why people say, “I’m going to get some sleep,” like they are trying to buy drugs. “Psssst! I need to get me some sleep. How much for a nighttime bag? Twenty bucks? Dude, I can get me some sleep cheaper than that downtown!” 

Now you are alone, your live-in partner has gone, and sleeping may seem just a bit too lonely...
Do nightmares bother you? What if you wake up after a nightmare and there’s no one there for you because your love has left you?

How about feeling lonely in that big bed all by yourself? Even though you are fast asleep and you can’t possible miss someone when you are out for the count, the thought of a desolate evening at home, followed by a night of solitary confinement-type sleep is something you may dread all day long.

Is there a bright side? Of course! Just look back on all of those sleepless nights you had with your partner because they kept you awake, kicking their legs like they were treading water. And let’s not forget those strange popping noises that they made with their nose! Those nights you slept with the pillow over your ears… 

 It’s common to be kept awake by a partner who snores. Others bear the burden of sleeping with those clingy folk, the ones who try to sleep right on top of you like a mating locust.

Also exhibiting insect behavior are the singing cricket sleepers, those who rub their feet together while trying to go to sleep. The hyper-active snoozers are up all night sleepwalking, 

sleeptalking or sleephumming, and like heavy drinkers of alcohol, they can’t remember a thing in the morning.

Relationships, like battles, can be lost because of exhaustion and lack of sleep.

So your relationship ended and you feel lonely in bed…look at it this way, you should be glad you are finally getting some good rest. It’s a pity you can’t sell some of that soothing sleep to your married friends!

Excerpt from Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge©  a book by Barbara Kingsley Singer. Click here   http://amzn.to/106FCdM  for some nighttime reading in that lonely bed of yours!

And click here  http://amzn.to/YfJvBx  if you are an insomniac in the United Kingdom!  Give it a try!

Why Anger Should be a Music Genre

MUSIC – we allow it to float ethereally around us as we breathe in patterns of notes that make us dance...

We sing along to melodies 

and then wake up to them

in our heads at five a.m., 

wondering where they came from 

as we try to nod them out.

 And just one note can make us cry, as we anticipate the familiar sad words that follow in that song.

Music has power over us because it shapes our moods. So why can’t we shop for it by “Emotions,” instead of by Artist” or “Genre?” Wouldn’t that make it easier to choose?

 

Feeling sad and in need of a good cry?

Visit the “Sadness” section and look for an album that carries an advisory “WARNING – May cause tearing of the eyes and soulful sobbing.” 

Music is proven to be very good emotional therapy,

...so play a sad song as you have a good cry to get over your ex.

 And how about something to feed that anger?

 “Zadam is angry and in a bad mood. 

He’s looking for release this Saturday night. He selects an album that comes with an advisory that reads “WARNING – May instigate violence.” 

Perfect. 

Just the thing for an angry young man. 

As he takes out his credit card the “Remorse” section catches his eye. 

He shrugs. 

There’s always time for that later…”

Blog based on Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing. Click here to read some snippets of the book

Dragons, Meditation and a Kindle...

or, Can't Sleep ~ Won't Sleep?

 Insomnia? 

The Top Ten Things People Try When They Can’t Sleep

10. Watching something on television

There’s always something good on late night television. Game of Thrones? You heard that it’s a good show, so you watch it. An hour later you drift off to sleep and dream of dragons tearing men apart and battles with so much blood red it looks like Christmas sweater day at the office. You wake up in a cold sweat, shivering and terrified. You snap on the light and cower naked in the corner of the room crying “Ma-ma.” It was a good show - but you'll never sleep again...

 9. Reading an exciting book.

You love this book. You couldn’t put it down when you were reading it this afternoon. Just a couple of pages before bed. Just a dozen more. Just another chapter. Just until Neil gets lucky. And suddenly it’s 4 a.m. and you’re wondering if Bella really loves Nick, and if Tony killed that dirty cop for Jenna’s sake. The hours are flying by and you’re still awake.

8. Listening to music

You are finally dropping off to sleep while listening to nice relaxing music from your music library, when suddenly a different album hits. It was your favorite song when you were 14 that you used to roller skate to with Danny Plotnik, whom you were madly in love with. You spring out of bed and start dancing around the room to the music. And now the neighbors are banging on your walls and threatening to call the police.

 7. Watching You Tube on your phone

What will it be? Cute kittens on a slide or a monkey in a snowsuit? Ah, here’s a list of bloopers—I’ll just watch a couple then I’ll go to sleep. Too funny! Oooh, pranks! I love pranks! What’s this? Rednecks and duct tape? Breakup Cocktail Calypso? Bring it on. And the next day you are Tweeting about the 101 most original ways to melt snow and putting a hamster video on Facebook. Not to mention calling in sick.

6. Reading a boring book

You try to read a page of this terminally boring book that you have renewed from the library eight times—or maybe it’s a free Kindle book that you downloaded to improve your mind, but you’ve read page eleven five times and you still don’t know what the heck’s going on and what does ubiquitous mean anyway? After a while your brain aches and you have to get a snack.

 5. Going online and having a quick look at your email

How nice and relaxing to read emails from friends. Huh? WHAT did Sophie say about my hair? I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. And while I’m at it, I’ll let Isabel know that John is secretly taking Jackie to the movies. 

Wait a minute! He did what? 

With who? No!

Who told you that? Really?

You must be kidding...!

Well listen to this...

4. Meditating

I will visualize a sunny Caribbean beach and picture myself in a hammock, with a cocktail in my hand as I count down in a relaxing manner from 500 down to 1. Here I go - 499, 498, 465, 464 – wait a minute—what happened to 487 and the rest of the nineties? Ah, the nineties. There was some good music in the 90’s and...ok, from 100 then, 99, 98, 97 so how old is Harrison Ford anyway...? I keep getting distracted, ten, nine...wasn’t there a movie called Nine? Or was that Seven?

3. Deep breathing

I count to ten as I breathe in and count to ten as I breathe out. That’s so relaxing—guaranteed to make me sleep. No, ten is too many, make it seven.
That’s perfect, 7 seconds in and 7 seconds out. But I need more time to breathe out, so let’s make it 7 seconds in and 9 seconds out.
Now I can’t pace myself—I’m choking! I need a glass of water! SO now I’m even less relaxed...  

2. Alternate tensing and relaxing

Have you tried the tensing and relaxing technique? You tense your toes and then relax them. Moving up the body, you tense your legs and then relax them. Tense the thighs and then relax them. Tense the arms, and—aargh!  You’ve got cramp in your foot! Now you have to jump out of bed and dance around and there go the neighbors, banging on the floor this time! Leave me alone, I’m in pain!

1. Reading a very short and funny story - about 3-4 pages long
Smile. Take your mind off the world around you and lose yourself in someone else's world for a few pages. Try Breakup Cocktail; it's full of amusing and non-threatening tales, and is available on Amazon.com click here - now at a reduced price. It's by far the best way to prime yourself for sleep. It's the perfect book to dip in and out of, without any side-effects! Not too long, not too short and not very violent at all. A short and witty tale will help you to calm down and will relax you into slumber...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© 

See the book and buy the book click here

Best Holiday/Christmas Gift Idea

After all of that holiday shopping, isn't it time you bought a little something for yourself? How about something that's reasonably priced, something that will definitely bring a smile to your face, and something that you can also get for a friend?

Did you know that you can buy a Kindle book for a friend on the Amazon.com website?
And did you know that for a little while, Breakup Cocktail was Number 3 on the Amazon Humor Bestseller List? Combine the two and you have the ideal holiday gift for a friend and also for yourself. The Breakup Cocktail book. Guaranteed to make you smile.

Breakup Cocktail on Kindle or in paperback is a great holiday gift; something to whisk away the tiredness of the holiday season. A holiday stress remover.

 You only need to read a couple of pages and you will find yourself smiling. To buy the Kindle or paperback edition click here and once you are on the page, you can either "Buy Now With One Click" or below that, "Click to Give As Gift," for that lucky friend of yours!

←

He's reaching for his credit card

 

↓

She's off to get her laptop!

Don't Have Fun Without Me!!!

"Where do you draw the line between letting your partner live their life and wondering if they are having too much fun without you?" Excerpt from Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Humor, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© 2012 Barbara Kingsley Singer. All rights reserved. See the book http://amzn.to/106FCdM

When we are having fun, we want to share that experience with other people. When others are having fun and we are not, we feel left out, sorry for ourselves and perhaps hurt because we weren’t allowed to join in. But it’s so much worse when our partner is having fun and we were not invited.

Of course you have to let your partner have their own life, as well as a life with you, but when they’re going out without you and all you have to look forward to are Downton Abbey reruns and a box of grey, expired chocolates, you will be jealous of the fun you think that they are going to be having.

 You may even hope that they have a terrible time, or at least a boring time. You hope that they think of you half a dozen times while they are out, having a bland and tedious evening. This is all a bit selfish, but we are all selfish creatures and we can’t help ourselves. The trick is not to let anyone else know how you are feeling, except of course your best friend Ann, who you will probably spend half the night on the phone with.

Here are some things you should NOT do:
As your partner leaves to go out for the evening without you, whisper in their ear, “Goodbye my love. I hope you don’t have any fun without me.”

You threaten them with, “If you look at another man/woman and I find out, you’ll be sleeping in the bathroom tonight.”

Wait one hour to see if they come back because they couldn’t spend another minute without you, and if they don’t—get the locks changed.
And,
When they arrive back home, you should NOT sniff them to see if you can smell perfume or cologne on them (or at least don’t make it obvious that you are checking...) or search their hair or clothes for blanket fluffs or carpet dust.

 Just greet them at the door, make them feel welcome, then tell them you have plans next week that don’t include them. That’s fighting fire with fire!

For funny breakup reads (that are MUCH funnier than this blog) sample Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge© a book by Barbara Kingsley Singer. Click here http://amzn.to/106FCdM to take a sip on amazon.com..mmm

But whatever you do, have fun!

Moving into Someone Else’s World

“People who are drawn into spending 90 percent of their time in their partner’s world and only 10 percent in their own, sometimes begin to resemble their better halves, but luckily not in the same way that some dog owners begin to look like their dogs. 

 Sadly, people who live too close to someone else can easily become an opposite-sex version of their significant other, and it has nothing to do with either steroids or hormones.”

Quotes from Breakup Cocktail (Sally’s tale) “Time Travel: Going Back 10 Years to Find Where I Left Myself.”

When you are in a relationship you visit each other’s worlds—you meet his friends and family and he meets yours. You step into each other’s worlds for while, and then you go back to your own. But sometimes you try it on and it seems a better fit than yours; everyone is nice to you (perhaps for a change) so after you step inside, you don’t want to come out again and face your empty apartment, annoying parents or demanding friends again. 

Life with Mr. New is addictive and exciting and maybe, like Sally, you move away with him and leave everything familiar behind.

Here’s another snippet from Sally’s tale: “To Sally, everything had become easier because most of the decisions in her life were now being made by Nick and she willingly went along with them. All she had to do was get up in the morning and follow orders. It was similar to being in the armed forces, but without the marching and the ugly camouflage clothing.” Being with someone can make your life easier, more pleasant, different and exciting and as long as the relationship moves forward and things go well, you feel that you have made a good decision.

“Nick’s family and friends lived a few miles away from their log cabin, and Sally became very attached to his family, his friends, and those friends’ girlfriends and children. The move into Nick’s world was like walking over black ice that was hidden by a soft snowfall, and she fell right into it.”

But what happens if that new world suddenly closes its gates to you? Sally wasn’t expecting to be shut out of Nick’s world – but one day, the unthinkable did happen.

To read Sally’s story and 60 others, go to Amazon.com for the Kindle or paperback version of Breakup Cocktail: 5 Parts Laughter, 1 Part Healing and a Twist of Revenge. Click here to see